WHY DO I THINK THE WAY I DO? Challenging your beliefs and reframing your thoughts around food.
*TW* Discussion of diet culture, disordered eating, and restriction. If this doesn't align with your journey, feel free to skip this one!
I wasn’t quite conscious of the negative voices that ran rampantly inside my head until I noticed my body changing. In 2014 I moved to the States for college, a move that changed my relationship with food and exercise.
I started eating larger quantities of food at the college cafeteria’s buffet, only to shame myself afterwards. I’d go out, drink in excess. I’d stay in during winter and found excuse after excuse to avoid moving. Changes in my social scene, schooling, culture, and colder weather all led me to seek comfort in food, and I was not listening or honoring my body in the slightest, but sheltering it instead.
I went back home during that first semester and started hearing comments all around me about how my body had changed, “estas hermosota, you look beautiful-er” “gise y ese vestido, that dress, no te cierra para nada, it doesn’t fit you at all now!” An experience I am sure isn’t unique to me, and probably more than one of you might relate to. There had been instances in the past, comments at much younger ages, events that influenced my self-perception and relationship with food, but this time it was different, because this time I was fending, feeding, and taking care of myself away from my family home, alone. And going back home again, made it all just *click*.
A click that triggered something inside of me, a sense of being uncomfortable with myself, waves of guilt and shame in a never-ending ebb and flow. I tried changing my habits but it came from a place of restriction, not self-care. All the decisions I made, like what and how much I put on my plate, wearing jeans instead of shorts, cutting out carbs, all came from wanting to shrink myself, make myself so small no one would ever make comments about my body ever again. *It is important to note these actions came from very harmful beliefs, by no means facts.*
That’s when I became aware of diet culture; a culture that places value on being a certain size/shape/weight, a belief system that associates food with morality and “thinness,” with “goodness.” Diet culture prioritizes weight over well-being, and boy was I sucked in, and prioritizing not gaining an ounce of weight while my mental health was at stake. I was able to recognize what we deemed normal was in fact disordered.
In a culture obsessed with dieting, it has become difficult to see eating as a pleasurable activity. We have scrutinized food to a point where morality has come to dictate our food choices; donuts are “bad,” salads are “good.” We associate foods with slimness and guiltlessness, at times even to a point where eating “healthy” becomes part of our identity.
There is an instigator to this war with food, the collective cultural voice and the individual “Food Police.” Those unsolicited comments by your tía at Christmas dinner about how there’s “too much food” on your plate, TikTok creators telling us to avoid (insert any food to be honest…), and that voice inside your head telling you to skip dinner and go to bed instead. Messages in the household and the outside environment help shape our perception and view of the world. These negative thoughts and attitudes towards eating become internalized at an early age, just like our view on politics, people, religion, etc.
Internalizing the voice of the Food Police can lead to a negative relationship with food, emotional distress, and reduced overall well-being. Those messages in the media and home, that voice that judges your every move, it can take up so much head space, it can get so LOUD!
How do we fight back an “authoritative” voice inside our head that we were not conscious was harming us, and have subconsciously given so much power to?
Number 1: Non-judgmental awareness.
Take a look at your beliefs first; beliefs affect our thoughts.
For example, “sugar is addictive and the worst thing for my body,” “I have to be skinny in order to be successful,” “eating after 6 P.M. will make me gain weight.”
Reflect upon the origin of these beliefs, where did they come from? Who were they modeled by? What could changing those beliefs look like?
Number 2: Reframing thoughts and cultivating retorts against the Food Police’s judgements and demands.
Start by analyzing thoughts linked to those beliefs, for example “I can’t have this chocolate even if I crave it because it has sugar,” “I will never find a partner in this body size,” “I’m starving, but it’s 8 P.M. and I can’t eat after 6 P.M.!”
Usually, these thoughts are strong statements linked to false beliefs; if they aren’t challenged, they can have a huge impact on our relationship with food and our eating habits.
Challenge the thoughts!
Evaluate your thoughts, question whether they are reasonable, is there any scientific evidence behind said thought? Is it harming me, if so how? Does it sound illogical, unreasonable?
For example, “should I really cut out all sugars? What about special occasions? Aren’t there instances where I do have some sugar, and am fine afterwards? How do I feel when I am around sugary foods and restrict?”
Replace the thought with a more logical one, like “I can give myself unconditional permission to eat chocolate and enjoy it when I want; sugar is not addictive and is not detrimental to my health.”
So,
1. Start with your distorted thought
2. Question the thought, and any associated beliefs
3. Reframe your thought based on your actual and lived experiences
By working towards challenging the Food Police we can in turn start changing our relationship with food:
I invite you to approach this exercise with curiosity and self-compassion, not judgment. It can take time to silence those loud negative voices, and the aforementioned are only some strategies you can use. Remember to celebrate your small victories, practice patience, and be gentle with yourself during setbacks.
If you’re having trouble disproving your thoughts and dispelling the Food Police, there is no shame in asking for help; you can ask for help to investigate where these thoughts come from, and how to move towards silencing the Food Police.
How does the Food Police show up in your life? What are some strategies that have helped you challenge that negative voice in the past? Have you identified any triggers that make the Food Police appear unexpectedly, or does it feel like it is always present and judging your every move?
I would love to hear from you.
“Challenge the Food Police,” is the 4th principle of the Intuitive Eating framework by Evelyn Tribole MS, RDN, CEDRD-S and Elyse Resch MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, FAND.
If you are interested in this topic, we’ll explore more principles in Something to Chew on, you can also check out the 4th edition of their book.
Until next time, keep on chewin’!